Stomach Child

It was time for my two-hour surgery. No one wanted me to have fun because I kept breaking every law in Bill’s Town and having too much fun. I’ve gone to prison for some nights and for some weeks but that doesn’t stop me from breaking all the laws. But now the wizard is going to snatch the child right out of me. A child controls our inner fun. Without a child I would just be boring.

Right now, I’m driving to the ice fortress where most slaves end up spending eternity locked up in jails and forced to turn a big wheel that gives our city electricity. Police escorted me there in a black limo with the Bill’s Town logo on both sides of it. This might be my last journal I will ever write in my entire life. Without fun I don’t have fluency in writing, I don’t have the strength to write freely. I was even going to publish all my journals and diaries, and I had already said goodbye to all my family, but when I left, they all just stood there, not saying anything. I knew once I left, they were going to party because they were lucky, they weren’t getting their inner child ripped out of them.

It was time. I just had arrived at the Ice Fortress and there were two guards that just stood there with BIG spears. They said nothing and then opened the doors and stood back. When the guards opened the doors, there was just a floating bed and the wizard was standing right next to it. When I took a couple steps in, the doors of the Ice Fortress closed.

“It is time young one,” the wizard said to me as I was walking closer and closer to the floating bed. Then black pepper hit my eyes in a millisecond. Before I knew it, I was knocked out.

When I woke up, I felt weird. I was in my bed and my whole family was staring at me. I said nothing and just walked to the fridge. They followed me to see if the surgery had worked. When I had asked them why they were following me all they asked was, “How do you feel?” I said I felt boring and they jumped up in excitement. Next thing I know they were all having a party.

I just left the house knowing that the day was going to be much worse. I went to the grocery store and walked by lots of people. They were all laughing at me and said I needed to take a shower. Policemen even laughed at me when they had a chance. People would stop and take pictures and send it to InstaBill, our town’s social media app, with the hashtag #nomorefunforyou. That hashtag got popular in a matter of minutes. I knew my life was over.

My family was being creepy, so that’s why I decided to take a walk to the grocery store. I felt so bored, and even though I didn’t want to be home, all I wanted was 5 gallons worth of milk and to sit on my living room couch and die watching football games.

So I went home. My whole family stared at me once again and I just groaned. They realized they had made a mistake of making me boring and took me back to the Ice Fortress, but they saw the guards were gone a note was there instead. It read, “The wizard has gone on a vacation for the summer and is not coming back until his fortress is frozen again because now it is just a fortress without the word “Ice”.

My family was now stuck with a boring guy. So, what they did next was try to get my child back into me on their own. We went on playgrounds, did wheelies on motorcycles, and even stole and ate kids’ ice-cream thinking that’s how to get a child back into someone. I told them it was no use. They realized they were going to have to wait until winter.

What they did next was shocking to me. They told me we were going to get the inner child back inside of me no matter what. First, they tried opening the fortress doors, but they were melted shut. One of my cousins, Mary, was blind but could hear sound frequencies that no one else in the universe could hear and somehow found a secret door into the fortress. When we got inside, I saw something that everyone was shocked to see. This wasn’t the first time the wizard had taken the inner child out of someone before. He had done this for generations. My mother said that he must have been tens of thousands of years old by now. My Uncle Bob said that explains why the wizard always goes to the barber shop to trim down his beard. I thought in my head the wizard probably had to do that for his beard to be in good condition.

There were jars with small floating orbs in them and each of the orbs were a different color. There must have been gazillions of jars with a gazillion colors. Out of all of them one of them had laughter and that one was mine. I realized that laughter was from all the fun I had when I had an inner child.

My family said goodbye to my pointless self, and we took the jar and smashed it on the hard, black, concrete ground. The room started to glow, and I started to float up in the sky. In a millisecond, I was back to my old self, and I loved being my old self again. After that all I remember was being pointless but now I’m going to publish all my journals and diary’s and try to become a millionaire.

Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go steal a kid’s ice-cream.